More for Your Marriage

NO- this post is not about the song--HAHA...but the title just fit! Last Sunday our pastor preached on Pride...It was an awesome sermon, and it sparked a long week of thinking about how pride is such a sneaky sucker! So many times satan uses pride to destroy a marriage, and we don't even realize it until it's too late! It sneaks into our daily lives and keeps us from doing the things that God has called us to do in our marriage...men and women alike!  Let's look at what pride looks like in a marriage: Not asking forgiveness when you know you were wrong Not telling your spouse when they hurt you because "they should already know" Not admitting our mistakes Feeling like and acting like all problems are the result of someone else's mistakes Not taking suggestions from our spouse because we "have all the answers" and know how to handle this better than they do Never admitting we are wrong--even on the smallest things Not being willing to

Have you ever heard a song several times before and then one day the Lord just speaks to you through it...like never before? This morning, as I drove to work, Zach Williams' song "Chain Breaker" came on the radio. I have heard this song so many times before, it's even my husband's ring tone...and if you know my husband, his phone is always ringing...so I hear it a lot! But today was different...it spoke to my soul, made me smile, and gave me a reason to rejoice! As I listened to the song, the words just stuck out today, they rang in my head and washed over my heart...I REALLY HEARD what it said. And as I drove and listened, God spoke to me and I'd like to share it with you. But before I do, I want you to watch the lyric video below and read the words as he sings. Really think about what it says as you listen. "If you've been walking the same old road for miles and miles. If you've been hearing the same old voice tell the same old lies. If

As I sit here with high anxiety and knots in my stomach, it feels familiar. This storm called "Matthew" is heading our way and my mind is swimming with the possibilities and outcomes that are unknown and scary to say the least. Being surrounded by huge, OLD, did I mention HUGE Oak trees doesn't seem like the best place to be in a storm of this magnitude...but it's where I am. I am pushing "trusting God" to a new level while praying for angels of protection to wrap themselves around this house and our friends and family who are also riding out the storm. The familiarity of this feeling takes me to a place I have been--but in a very different situation...a broken marriage. We ALL have storms in our marriage...we may have weathered them nicely and came out stronger on the other side, some of us could have had HUGE "oak trees" crush our dreams and lost everything, some may be struggling through right now with prayers that angels of protection will wr

So is anyone else exhausted, or is it just me? Have you ever felt stretched thin, over committed, weary, tired, or exhausted? Do you have a million things going on in your life and can't seem to find time for yourself and God, much less your marriage? I AM THERE! I feel like I run myself ragged trying to do the things I deem "necessary" to be the best I can be as an Assistant Principal, a mother, a wife, a friend, a Christian. I work so hard at trying to be what I think everyone expects of me...and I fail every time. I get so busy that I lose sight of what God has really laid on my heart...people, marriages, families in trouble. God has laid a heavy burden on my heart to DO SOMETHING to help others in their marriages and families. I don't have a degree, but I have a love for people and what God wants for their lives. Recently I received an email (which was sooo NOT a coincidence in my opinion) to earn a Life Coach certification to help people in the areas that God h

MARRIAGE ISN'T EASY...we all know that...but what if we are the ones causing it's failure??? We are ALL GUILTY of doing and saying things that squash the romance or leave our marriage feeling empty. Today I am sharing 12 things that kill marriages. I can not take credit for discovering these things...I am a huge fan of Dr. James Dobson...I have put his stuff on here before. Below are "12 Marriage Killers" according to him--with added commentary from me. If you would like to see it on his website or see what else he has to offer, you can click  HERE . 1. OVER-COMMITMENT AND PHYSICAL EXHAUSTION: These two things are so easy to get caught up in these days. At the Chapman house we have work (five days a week, sometimes 6 for Jeremy and neither of us are home before 5 usually), church (Sunday, life groups, youth group), 2 boys in soccer (practice twice a week and games on weekends), and so on and so on. And we don't even do as much as some other families we know. Ac

A few posts back we talked about how to improve your communication in your marriage. If you would like to see that post, you can click on it on the right side of your screen. One of the first things in that post said to "Speak the truth in love." I found this video by Dr. James Dobson (I love his perspective and wisdom from the Lord) that gives more information and insight into the topic of Speaking the Truth. It is a very short video that I really thought made this point even more clear. Hope you enjoy! Click the link below to watch it! The Power of Words in Your Marriage

A couple of days ago I posted the first 7 of 15 duties of parents according to J.C. Ryle in the book The Duties of Parents  which was originally written in 1888. If you didn't get to see the first post, you should definitely go back and read it as well! Here are numbers 8-15... Proverbs 22:6, Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." We may  not see the result of our training, but we can be sure that God keeps His promises always. 8. Train them to a habit of faith...in you and the Lord. We should train our children to believe what we say. We want them to be confident in our judgement and respect our decisions as better than their own. We need to teach them that when we say something is bad for them, it IS bad. Or when we say something is good for them, it IS good for them. They HAVE to trust us and know that there is a good reason for everything we say to them, even if they don't understand it. It is absurd to thin

Ok so I know that this post is not SPECIFICALLY about marriage, but our children and how we handle them have a huge impact on our marriage and family. This mission we have as parents is something that we ALL struggle with throughout our children's lives at some time or another. Some of us more than others. It is our responsibility to teach them, love them, and take care of them during their time on this earth. It's a LARGE charge to have someone's life in your hands...so we have to make sure that we make the best of the time we are given with them. I recently read this book called The Duties of Parents  by J.C. Ryle. The book was originally written in 1888, so the language is a bit challenging to understand...but it is definitely worth sharing. I'm going to summarize it the best I can...but if you would like to buy it, you can get it  HERE  on Amazon. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.&

Communication is KEY in a marriage. We all struggle with communicating in the RIGHT way when we are angry. We are going to look at some verses in Ephesians 4 that tell us exactly how to communicate with our spouse...or anyone else for that matter. The outline was developed by NANC (National Association of Nouthetic Counselors) with added commentary by me:) Ephesians 4:25-32 says: "Since you put away lying, Speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are all members of one another. Be angry and do not sin. Don't let the sun go down on your anger, and don't give the Devil an opportunity. The thief must no long steal. Instead, he must do honest work with his own hands, so that he has something to share with anyone in need. No rotten talk should come from your mouth, but only what is good for the building up of someone in need, in order to give grace to those who hear. And don't grieve the Holy Spirit, who sealed you for the day of redemption. All bitterness, a

Ok wives, it's our turn to see what God has to say about our role in our marriage. Yesterday we looked at what God expects our husbands to do, so today we are going to look into what He expects from us. These key factors can be marriage-changing if we follow God's plan:) Here we go! These notes were adapted from Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries. You can access the original notes  here. Three words that describe the Wife's role: 1. Submission: Many people hate this word BUT that's because our world twists it way out of context. Here are some WRONG ideas about submission: A. The wife is inferior-  1 Peter 3:7--"Husbands in the same way, live with your wives with understanding of their weaker nature yet showing them honor as co-heirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered." Galations 3:28--"There is no Jew or Greek, slave or free, male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." SO, wives, submission DOES NOT mea

While going through Biblical counseling training, the roles of husbands and wives was one of the most interesting things that I learned. It opened my eyes to ways that I was wrong, and ways I could improve the way I fulfill my role as a wife. Today we are going to look at the husband's role...tomorrow we will look at the wife's role. We are doing the husband's first because he is the HEAD of the HOUSEHOLD. It's not easy, and God does NOT take it lightly. HUSBANDS DON'T GIVE UP ON ME...TOMORROW IS THE WIFE'S TURN:) The following notes were adapted from the Faith Biblical Counseling Ministry. You can access the original ones by clicking  here . It goes into much more depth than I will today. So husbands, you should check it out. Let's talk about 3 words that describe the husband's role in marriage: 1. The husband should be a LEARNER- 1 Peter 3:7 says, "You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone

Yesterday we looked at the first part of 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8. Today we will continue to examine the rest of this passage to see how God expects us to show love to others... 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 says..."Love is patient; love is kind. Love does not envy; does not boast; is not proud (conceited); does not act improperly (dishonor others); is not selfish; is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,, always perseveres. Love never fails. (HCSB & NIV)" Love is NOT SELFISH:  James 3:16 says,.."For where envy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every kind of evil. (HCSB)" Satan and this world try to tell us that we are #1...but God says something different. If you think about it, most arguments and fights begin because someone is being selfish and putting his/her feelings or desires before someone else's. When we argue with our sp

This will be a 2-PART entry...I will do part of it today, and the other half tomorrow...so come back tomorrow and finish it! This one is for EVERYONE...married or single, child or adult, everyone can use this to live the life that God has called us to live as Christians. Romans 13: 9-10 says..."and if there is any other commandment--all are summed up by this: Love your neighbor as yourself.  Love does no wrong to a neighbor. Love therefore, is the fulfillment of the law. " So all of our commandments are summed up with one sentence...LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF! Who is your neighbor? Everyone...spouses, children, family, friends, coworkers, strangers, enemies, people we have a hard time liking or respecting, people we don't agree with... EVERYONE. For those of us who are married, it seems that our family (spouses and children) get the short end of the stick when it comes to treating them lovingly. I don't mean that we don't ever do right by them...I just

Can anyone relate????... The toilet paper MUST hang OVER NOT UNDER! Why must you squeeze the toothpaste in the MIDDLE of the tube EVERY TIME??? Really?!? You just threw those dirty clothes on the floor A FOOT AWAY from the laundry basket?!? Is our water faucet broken? Are we out of rags? Is the dishwasher not working? Now NONE of these pictures are actually from my house...so don't go tell my hubby I ratted him out...HEHEHE.  So since this is an issue that can drive many couples to a down right knock down-drag out...Let's see what God says about how to handle ourselves, even when people are jumping on our LAST NERVE!  Philippians 2:14-15 says..."Do everything without grumbling and arguing , so that you may be blameless and pure, children of God who are faultless in a crooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine like stars in the world. (HCSB-emphasis mine)"  I have a friend who told a story about her husband leaving his clothes on t