Duties of Parents

Ok so I know that this post is not SPECIFICALLY about marriage, but our children and how we handle them have a huge impact on our marriage and family. This mission we have as parents is something that we ALL struggle with throughout our children's lives at some time or another. Some of us more than others. It is our responsibility to teach them, love them, and take care of them during their time on this earth. It's a LARGE charge to have someone's life in your hands...so we have to make sure that we make the best of the time we are given with them.

I recently read this book called The Duties of Parents by J.C. Ryle. The book was originally written in 1888, so the language is a bit challenging to understand...but it is definitely worth sharing. I'm going to summarize it the best I can...but if you would like to buy it, you can get it HERE on Amazon.

Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Ryle gives 15 duties of parents. I am going to try to summarize them all in order to fit them in two posts, so keep your eyes peeled for the next post.

1. Train your children in the way they SHOULD go, not in the way they WOULD go. 

• Proverbs 22:15 says, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child." Proverbs 29:15 says, "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother."
• We are all born sinners, if we don't teach our children what's right, the world will pull them in the wrong direction.
• Children do not yet know what is good for their mind and soul anymore than they know what is good for their body, so don't let them decide what they can and can not do. 
• Train them in what is right and do not let them make decisions that affect their mind and soul in a negative way. 

2. Train your children with tenderness, affection, and patience.

• Colossians 3:21 says, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won't become discouraged."
• Children are like young horses in the hands of a breaker, if you treat them harshly and roughly, it will be a long time before you can train them. If you handle them kindly and show them you love them, you can lead them very easily.
• When we are harsh and too tough on our children, it shuts up their hearts and it will be hard for you to find the door. If you show them that you love them and want the best for them at all times, when you have to punish them, they will respond in a much better way. 
• We can't expect children to learn and master everything at once. They are children and we have to teach them as they can learn. In other words, they WILL mess up, we have to be patient and know that training takes time. You will probably have to handle the same behaviors more than once, so you have to be consistent. 
• Anger and harshness does not convince a child that we are right, and if they see us lose our temper a lot, we will quickly lose their respect. 
• We do not want our children to be scared of us--fear leads to concealment and lies and keeps them from opening up to us when it is most important. 

3. Train your children knowing that much depends on us.

• We are made what we are through training, and so are our children. Our children's character takes the shape of what they are taught, especially in their first years.
• Our children get from us a bias, a nature, a taste that stays with them their whole lives. They learn our language, temperament, and mannerisms very early. 
• God gives our children the disposition to believe what we say and to trust our word over anyone else, so we have a golden opportunity to show them what's right. 
• We can't MAKE a child be something they aren't, we can't MAKE them accept the Lord as their savior...but we CAN and will always influence them...from start to finish, so we must make sure we take advantage of that opportunity and use it for their good.

4. Train your children remembering that their soul is what's most important.

• Our children's souls should always be in our fore thoughts. Their soul is what will last forever, so we have to feed it properly.
• Their happiness or misery depends on us.
• When we pamper and indulge our children, as if this world is all they have to look forward to, we are doing them a great injustice. We have to teach them that their relationship with Christ is what will matter in the end. 
• We can't allow our children to do things, read things, watch things just because that is the custom of the day. We can't be ashamed or embarrassed to train our children in the ways of the Lord because our time here is short and we are not promised tomorrow. 
• Those who "train their children for Heaven rather than earth, for God rather than man" will be the ones who are called wise in the end.

5. Train your children to a knowledge of the Bible. 

• You can not make your child love the Bible, but you can make them acquainted with it...and it's never too soon.
• People who are well-grounded in the Bible will generally not waver or be carried by every wind of doctrine.
• The Bible should be our central and number one "go-to" book for training our children. 
• Teach your children to read the Bible reverently. Teach them that it is the Word of God, written by the Holy Spirit Himself.
• Teach them to read it regularly, and to read it all. 
• Teach them about sin (call sin a sin) and its guilt, consequences, power, and vileness. 
• Teach them about the Lord, Jesus Christ and what He did for us.
• Teach them about the Holy Spirit and how He works in our hearts. How He changes us, renews us, purifies, and sanctifies us.

6. Train them to pray.

• Prayer is the life-breath of true relationship. It is one of the first evidences that a person is born again.
• Prayer is the great secret of spiritual prosperity. When we talk to God regularly, our soul grows tremendously. If a Christian is growing and flourishing, they are most definitely talking to God on a regular basis. 
• Prayer is our best and biggest weapon to use in every difficulty and trouble. We HAVE to teach our children and SHOW them how important it is. 
• Long before they learn to read, we can teach them to pray. 

7. Train them to go to church.

• Hebrews 10:25 says, "not staying away from our worship meetings, as some habitually do, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day drawing near."
• Teach them the duty and responsibility of going to church.
• Teach them that where the Lord's people are gathered, He is there with them.
• Teach them the importance of hearing God's word preached and taught. Do not let them grow up making vain excuses for not going. 
• Train them in a habit of regular attendance and make it a high priority and a solemn duty.

Come back tomorrow for 8-15.