Guard Your Heart

So here is the first thing that I have found that is VITAL to making a marriage last:

1.     GUARD YOUR HEART—Proverbs 4:23 says “Guard your heart above all else (some versions say “with all diligence”), for it is the source of life (HCSB).” This verse is a VERY important one in marriage. The heart is the place where we keep all our hopes, dreams, desires, and fears. It is the place that the Lord lives in us…and if it isn’t guarded daily, satan will wriggle his way in like the slimy worm he is and give us heart worms…sorry I know that’s gross…but it’s a good analogy. When we let our guard down and satan sneaks in, it is just like having heart worms…you won’t notice for a little while, you could even go on for years and not notice the slow change…satan will slip in a few thoughts here, a few comments there, and before you know it…God and common sense are being choked out by something or someone that you didn’t see coming! That’s what he does…he slowly makes us numb to the worldly things because we have slowly been letting one worm in at a time.

2.   So HOW do we GUARD OUR HEARTS? Well I’m glad you asked…The Bible has a few suggestions:

a.    The rest of Proverbs 4 says this…”Don’t let your mouth speak dishonestly, and don’t let your lips talk deviously. Let your eyes look FORWARD; fix your gaze STRAIGHT AHEAD. Carefully consider the path for your feet, and all your ways will be established (HCSB, emphasis mine). “So the Lord said for us to guard our hearts, and then He gave us several ways to do that. Let’s look at each.

b.    “Don’t let your mouth speak dishonestly, and don’t let your lips talk deviously.” Sooo, we are going to step on some toes here…including mine. When it comes to our spouses, we sometimes get aggravated and downright angry and we sometimes vent to our co-workers and friends. Well that may be fine…but be CAREFUL what you say about your spouse to others. If you speak negatively, you will think negatively. If you speak positively, you will think positively. Listen, we ALL have moments when we want to knock our spouses teeth down their throat (I’m just being honest…don’t pretend like you haven’t) but that doesn’t mean that we have to tell the world how awful they are. Negativity breeds hard hearts and bitterness. The more you talk negatively, the more you think negatively. If you MUST tell someone, make sure that it is someone who will give you sound, Godly advice, or just listen. Just REMEMBER, “Do unto other as you would have them do unto you…” If you wouldn’t want your spouse bashing you to his/her friends…then you shouldn’t do it either. One last verse to “check yourself before you wreck yourself” (HA!). Ephesians 4: 29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk (one version says “foul language”) come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building other up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (NIV).” If what you say cannot fit into this verse as building your spouse up and benefiting those who listen…then use your brain to mouth filter and shut it!

c.    “Let your eyes look FORWARD; fix your gaze STRAIGHT AHEAD.” Soooo this one is hard too. If we are being honest…we all have times when we are walking along and our peripheral vision catches a cute guy or girl. In total innocence a thought runs through your head…”Oh, he’s/she’s cute…” But when you stop, back up, and turn your head trying to catch a better/longer glimpse of him or her…you are asking for trouble. This verse is talking about keeping your eyes fixed on God and looking straight ahead toward Him…but it also applies to this. You can glance in your peripheral…but keep your eyes looking forward, fix your gaze straight ahead and DO NOT give it a second glance. Matthew 5: 28 says…”But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart (HCSB).”

d.    “Carefully consider the path for your feet, and all your ways will be established.” When we are guarding our hearts, we have to be careful about the paths that we go down. That means physically, mentally, and spiritually. Every action, feeling, belief begins with just a thought. If we don’t take every thought captive and ensure that we are staying on the right path, we can quickly be distracted by the devil. Gandhi said, “Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions…”  I’m not a huge Gandhi fan, but these words are so true. This path of thoughts, words, and actions can lead us closer to God and therefore closer to our spouse, OR it can lead us away from both. So be very mindful of the conversations you have with coworkers or friends of the opposite sex. Without your heart guard, you WILL get heart worms…and it can kill your relationship with your spouse and most importantly with the Lord if you don’t use your heart guard.

What is our heart guard? Your heart guard is the infallible WORD OF GOD. Your Bible! Don’t let yourself go too long without reading it, studying it, and dwelling on it.

Psalms 119:11 says…”I have treasured Your word in my heart so that I may not sin against You (HCSB).”Ephesians 6:13-18 says…” Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”

 If you are in your Bible daily, memorizing scripture and applying it to your life…the red flags will go up when satan is trying to take your down a path you don’t need to go. It’s a mistake I made…and it led me down a path that I didn’t want to go. I went almost a whole year without studying my Bible…and during that year, I got heart worms. Little by little, one by one, the devil numbed me to the worldly thoughts and beliefs, which led to words, and ultimately actions that I will never be able to take back….and I had to eat crow.