Lord, Cover My Mouth!

We have all been there...when our husband or wife has said or done something that has rubbed our nerves like sandpaper on a piece of rough wood! Our first reaction is to lash out, say exactly what we are thinking and give them a piece of our mind! #$%!&*(!@# RIGHT???
I know there have been times when I have said things and LITERALLY covered my mouth immediately after because I knew I shouldn't have said it! It just came out! Have you been there? It's just us, you can be honest, and if we are truly honest, we have ALL said things we shouldn't to our spouse and children. We have ALL let our flesh get the best of us and have let them have it-haven't we? It's true because we are all human, we all make mistakes, and we all have to reign in the flesh that still lives deep inside our soul. It's a daily battle to beat our own flesh and that includes (but is not limited to...HA) our mouths! But what does God say about our mouths...surely with all of the craziness he put up with, he knows how hard it is to "zip it" sometimes! Well, as you can imagine, the Bible says A LOT about our words...

Proverbs 29:20 says, "Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him."

Proverbs 18:13 says, "He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him."

Proverbs 10:19 says, "When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who retrains his lips is wise."

Proverbs 13:3 says, "Whoever guards his mouth, preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin."

These are just a few verses found in the Bible about our words. So how do we apply this to our marriages? Here are a few practical ways to help.

1. THINK before you speak...is what you are about to say:

T- True
H- Helpful
I- Inspiring
N- Necessary
K- Kind

Ephesians 4: 29 says, "No foul language is to come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear."

The THINK rule is such a simple principle, and we use it with our students at school regularly...so why is it so hard to use ourselves? It's hard because we are comfortable, and we let that be an excuse for letting our spiritual guard down. We get lax in our everyday lives at home and sometimes the filters that we use out in public are not used with the ones we love the most. We should be MORE loving and careful with our husband/wife/children, but they always seem to get the short end of the stick, don't they? Are you building your spouse and kids up, or tearing them down? Do your words show grace?

2. LISTEN MORE than you speak!

James 1:19 says, "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."
The Bible is clear about it, "QUICK to HEAR, SLOW to SPEAK" but we get it backwards most of the time. We speak before we think, and we formulate a response or retaliation in our heads while we should be listening. It's a real struggle, seriously...it is so hard to just listen and try to understand the other perspective instead of trying to argue our side! But sometimes...MOST of the time, if we are honest, it is better to shut our mouths, and keep silent just like Proverbs 17:28 says, "Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent." We have all been fools, but even a fool is considered wise when he/she zips it up! There is hope for us fools yet!

3. USE YOUR Brain to Mouth FILTER!

We were all gifted a Brain to Mouth Filter...some of us have not mastered the art of using it yet (haha), but we all have one! Even David knew he needed the Lord's help keeping his mouth shut, which is why he wrote, "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!" Psalm 141:3. Now if David was a man after God's own heart...how much more do WE need the Lord's help to cover our mouths? We have all had a filter malfunction! Just the other day, I had to apologize to a whole group of people for not using my filter! It happens! But God is clear that what we say to others should build them up, show them grace, and help them see Jesus in us. This is all the more true for our marriages and families!

We see these people ALL DAY, EVERY DAY...especially now during this COVID-19 shelter in place craziness! We see their faults, their annoying habits, smell their morning breath and deal with their tendencies to stomp on our last nerve! But our husbands/wives and children are also our prized possessions, our deepest joy, and our longest relationships. These people are treasured and loved, and yet we still treat others better than them in many instances. Now is the time to change that! The Lord has given us PLENTY OF TIME to work on ourselves. Use this quarantined time to show them that you care by working on the things above. They aren't hard to do, they just take practice and lots of prayer! So join with me in this prayer...
"Lord please cover my mouth and open my ears! Father, forgive me for being lax and for treating others better than my family sometimes. Help me to really see and hear my spouse and children. Show me how to use my brain-to-mouth filter and teach me how to use my words to build my family up, show them grace, and radiate your love! In Jesus name, amen!"

Now because you prayed that prayer, Satan is going to be waiting for you! Be ready! Stay focused! Pray for protection and practice, practice, practice!